Working Dog Humor
More Jack Handy
I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some
~ Jack Handey
Top ten ways to tell if you really like K-9 SAR:
Original from Denise Blackman (email@example.com)
10) You begin to think of ticks as fellow searchers.
9) You sleep with your pager.
8) You shower with your pager.
7) You just spent your entire vacation slipping down hillsides,
getting slapped in the face by poison oak, and scratched by brush; and
was your idea of fun.
6) You have your vehicle, dog and gear ready at all times, but you
can't locate your work clothes.
5) You spend working hours fantasizing how you can become
independently wealthy so you can search all the time.
4) When someone talks about 'searching the internet' you ask "did
they call a dog-team?"
3) More of your co-workers know the name of your dog than know the
name of your spouse.
2) Your Christmas list includes: an ammo box (for cadaver), 14
gauge wire (for your SAR-Tech II 24-hour pack), and a "super-screamer"
1) Your dog dances all around at the sight of your backpack, and you join
Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many
things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry
pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to
carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be
used as a kind of strainer, where you force pancakes thru the strings to
see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow.
~ Jack Handey
- The dog is not allowed in the house.
- Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
- The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
- The dog can get on the old furniture only.
- Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
- Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
- The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
- The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
- The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
- Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.
From "My Dog is the World's Best Dog" by Suzy Becker.
Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his
out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
The only thing 2 dog handlers can agree on is that the 3rd one is
doing it wrong!
From the Scent-L mailing list, August 26, 1996
Top 10 Reasons why K9 Candidates don't make it as Detection
By Chomi Ohoyo
- Arson Dogs -- couldn't get the dog fired up.
- Water Search Dogs -- dog was in over his head.
- Airport Detection Dogs -- dog was too flighty.
- Drug Detection Dogs -- dog wouldn't inhale.
- Currency Detection Dogs -- the dog was a poor candidate.
- Agricultural Products Det. Dogs -- dog had no taste for the work.
- Wildlife Detection Dogs -- dog was just winging it.
- Explosives Detection Dogs -- dog kept blowing it.
- Termite Detection Dogs -- dog bugged me too much.
- Gypsy Moth Detection Dogs -- dog's mind kept wandering.
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Text and photos copyright Dan Comden, 1995-2004
Seattle, WA U.S.A.
Email -- dan*@*comdens.com (remove the asterisks around the "@" symbol)